Well today’s Thanksgiving. The day snuck up on me before I realized it. Perhaps it was all that self-loathing that made the time go by so fast.
Traditionally in any sense, and in following the zeitgeist of the cultural expectation of the month, I should be thinking of things to be thankful for.
I would be grateful for my readers right now to understand that as much as I value the role of gratitude in our society, I seem to be finding myself taking sides with those of the pathos more centered on the negative results of this life. Unfortunately.
“Well then, change your mind and be grateful for once!” That would seem to be the correct reply in regards to my feelings.
But I am making the choice to dwell on the negativity of my life because I am choosing to be realistic.
I am at the point in my life where I feel I have lost everything. That I had it real good. Too good to be true. And in a moment’s blink, it all vanished, disintegrated in the decadence of a despicable ingrate.
So what’s the point of this word spill? Rather than let it be the source of satisfaction for your mental ennui, I want it to be the declaration to my readers, and hopefully further outside that circle, of my desire to declare my realization of how ungrateful I’ve been.
Ungrateful for those people who would write me and ask me how I was doing. Ungrateful for the assistance and care provided by the numerous individuals in my life. Ungrateful for that one person who opened my eyes to the reality that despite all errors we can make we can and will still have light and will make good decisions.
Course I’m skimming the tip of the iceberg of all the things I was ungrateful for. These are the first things to come to mind.
So I guess I’m grateful for this realization. Don’t be like me and lose everything and everyone you’ve cared about before you realize how much they mean to you.
– Jeremy Unitt