The beginning of a wanted end. I felt that was the best title and easiest way to highlight my goal in expressing to readers the sentiments that lead to the ideas of something as serious as suicide, to think, and eventually lead to the killing of oneself.
I hope by sharing my experience with this, it will guide readers to pay a little bit more attention to friends and family, to keep an eye out for the warning signs that define the start of the path that leads to only more pain.
I’m going to divide this topic into sub-categories, as each sentiment on its own is powerful enough to lead a person in the direction of life-taking. But the sentiments I will write about are the ones I felt and experienced. There may be others I didn’t feel or recognize, and on that matter I leave to the readers to point out and send to my gmail account with the name of my blog as I too wish to be aware of this subject.
To begin, I can say I know my suicidal thoughts stemmed first from the feelings I got from loss.
To me, loss is a separation of something or someone we once had in our lives. It’s experienced in various levels, and there exists such a level of loss it causes an enormous difference in one person’s life.
It opens a hole where anything and everything tries to fill it – friends, goals, relationships, careers – but to no avail. This profound, deep crevasse in the center of a person is dangerous. If not caught early, it can consume the person…wrapping them up in that hole where there may be no escape.
This was one of the reasons I wanted to end my life.
If you know anyone’s experienced loss in their lives in any degree, keep an eye out. Don’t just express condolences and feel that will be enough to help. It’s a wonderful gesture to say sorry and show you want their pain to go away.
But I’ve learned there’s enough a difference between what a person knows and what a person feels. And in the battle against one’s self, a “sorry for your loss” will not help a grief-filled individual find the strength to not be consumed by the hole.
Aid the person of concern by helping (not forcing) them to take their focus away from the hole. I know there’s no way to fill it, and trying puts one’s self in grave danger.
Help them change direction. Acknowledge the loss but be open to the new paths that can still be taken.
If its necessary, be blunt. State your goal of wanting to help them focus in a new direction. Its better to have them mad at you now for your concern then having to ask yourself why didn’t you try harder.
Next post I’m going to talk about the feelings that come from lies. The second feeling that led to my suicidal decision.
Please share and comment, spread awareness. Learn what you can do to help.
– Jeremy Unitt